Sweet baby.  We had quite the adventure together with Aunt Emily, Aunt Gina (who took these pictures of you in my belly in our hotel in NYC) and so many inspiring new friends.  They encouraged my soul.  They encouraged you.  I made big decisions and God cracked my heart wide open. I have so much to tell you.

I love that you can hear now.  You may not know the exact words that people said, but I know your heart felt the inspiring stories of the many people we met on our adventure. When someone would say something wonderful, you would kick.  Every time.  Making Things Happen lights my heart on fire, little one.  Someday, I hope you get to meet all of my dear friends I have met over the last two years doing this work.  They are amazing giving people and they are making big things happen in their lives and in their families.  They are inspiring so many others to do the same. 

I did a lot of hard work while we were gone.  And it’s just beginning.  I know you heard my tears, the big laughs and heard my promises to God and myself and you and our family.  You heard my heart.  You heard my prayers.  You felt the hugs and the love along the way.   Lots of gentle hands loved on the belly you are sweetly tucked inside of right now.  Little one, I’m already working hard to make the things I spoke come to life.  You probably already know that.  Life is too short not to start now.  Life is too short to be afraid of imperfection.  Life is too short to be afraid of anything in this world.  I’ve never felt this way in my entire life.  So clear on what my core is.  So unafraid of what used to hold me back.  I believe.  I have full faith.  So many miraculous things have happened in my life since you started to grow in me.  Things I truly never thought possible.  God is so clearly challenging what I thought of as “possible”.   You are literally the center of my body right now.  You know.  You know the changes that are happening.  You feel me relaxing with every change instead of tensing up like I used to.  My heart flutters with every blessing.  The impossible IS possible.

I don’t think this is a coincidence that I started writing this blog post on your due date.  It changed my life.  It’s because of that little risk and the journey from then to now that I opened my heart to YOU. 

God is so good.  Infinitely.  He is the reason I do everything I do.  I’m seeing that clearer and clearer every day and I am saying YES… and no… to a lot now.

YES to slow dancing with your dad in the living room.  Last night all three of us danced together.  It was wonderful.  You are getting big, so I had to turn sideways to dance, but it was perfect.  YES to studying God’s word more and drinking it in.  It’s my joy.  NO to the false thinking that I’m too young, too small, unqualified, undegreed, uncertified, imperfect, not ready, not big enough, not perfect enough, not polished enough… NO to believing that I’m not enough to do the big things that are on my heart.  Don’t ever believe that, little one.  You are ALWAYS enough.  Always.  You can do anything you want in life when your heart is in the right place.  You will go to amazing places and open your heart wide to real lasting joy.  NO to distractions that keep me from that stillness.  NO to playing small.  NO to negativity, judgement, fear and worry.  “Do not worry about your life…” - Matt 6:25.  YES to laying my flaws at God’s feet, not the feet of people.  YES to cracking my own self-imposed limits on success based on other people’s opinions.  YES to a new definition of success.  YES to sharing more of myself.  YES to OWNING MY LIFE instead of renting it.  I don’t know how long any of us has on this earth, so I intend to make the very most of it.  Will it be easy?  Nothing truly great is ever easy.  I will tell you this, though, little one… hard work - the right hard work - is worth it. 10000% worth it!  YES to giving so much more of myself.

YES to you.  I can’t wait to meet you in 14.5 short weeks. The air will be crisp and the paperbark birch tree outside your window will be a golden yellow, ready to welcome you to the bright beautiful world.  I love you. 

Mom