You have two favorite things so far: church when we’re all singing our hearts out and when I’m on the phone. You kick and roll and dance around. It makes me so joyful to feel you move. Stronger every single day. I wish I could watch you, but soon enough.
I haven’t wanted to write to you. I’ve felt so much fear that if I let myself start to love you, I’d lose you. I haven’t been trusting God enough. But today, I walked around our sweet little neighborhood and literally stopped to smell the roses… and as I walked I started to envision what it’s going to be like to see you. To SEE you in the flesh. To watch you play and laugh and to hold you close. To care for you and teach you. I fell head over heels in love in that moment. An answered prayer. I saw you in my heart. I have you now. I love you now. Oh hello, you just kicked! Thank you for that, little one.
We named you. Well, really God named you. It’s a name I never ever thought we’d pick. But I prayed one day and it was the first name that came to mind. We love it. God is good. Your name is just a name but it means so very much already. For now, your dad and I are holding it close to our hearts.
Speaking of dad. He’s going to be a really good dad to you. He’s a great husband to me. He has taken such great care of me while I’m carrying you. He loves you more every day. He waits patiently to feel your kicks. He sings to you. He brings me good food home so I can nourish you. He is also practicing fatherhood by telling me to go brush my teeth and get ready for bed when I get super sleepy at night. We laugh a lot lately. We’re excited about you.
Growing you is hard work sometimes. Your dad is bringing me bison meat home to tonight because you need lots of healthy blood cells and right now mom isn’t making enough. So, enjoy the burgers and spinach to come, little one : )
Tomorrow, I hope to see you. I go to see the doctor tomorrow for a checkup. Aunt Nancy is also coming over to take pictures of how much you have grown in my belly. And oh how you have grown! Every day I’m grateful for you. For your kicks and dancing when the music is going. For how you have blessed us so very much already. For reminding me every day to give thanks. So many blessings.
I love you.