I’m starting to get it. God’s grace. I thought I got it before, but I now know they layers keep peeling off. I’ve been reading the Bible constantly lately - day and night. I’m seeing my sin and ego and pride so clearly.  I always think I’ve seen it clearly and then God shows me one more layer. Last night, you were teething and woke up at 4am wanting to roll around and “talk”. I stayed up with you. I think God did that on purpose. It’s like fasting when you are stripped of the normal comfort of food. Same with sleep deprivation. It can amplify what’s really in our hearts. So, I started to have anxiety about a lot of ridiculous things. I prayed a lot as you played and as I tried to comfort you. Around 8, I woke daddy up and told him everything on my heart. He loved on me and encouraged me. He is such a good daddy and husband. He has truly taken on the awesome duty of being the leader of our family, loving us with all his might and caring for not only you and I but everyone. He loves on Great Grandma Bunny and Grama Celia and Grampa David and Uncle Stephen. He studies the scriptures day and night. (This morning he told me when you woke up at 4, he couldn’t sleep so he just studied the Bible for a couple hours. Your daddy does that a lot.) All this to say, I am so grateful. God changes people. Completely. Last evening, we drove around the beach where daddy and I had some of our first dates and talked about how very different our lives are now… how different we are as people. Night and day.  God has made your daddy and I into new people and He keeps peeling back the layers. I feel like the weight of the world was lifted from me today, sweet pea. Honesty and love and humility are hard work and they require stepping into a LOT of fear but it is always WORTH IT. You are worth it. I want to be the kind of woman that glorifies God and not myself. I have a long way to go. But that is the deepest desire of my heart. All the roadblocks between me and that goal are humbling. I look at who I was just a few years ago… even just a few months ago… and I PRAISE GOD. He refines us. He breaks us down so He can use us for good. I’m so grateful. This family is forever changed because of God’s amazing grace. You remind us of that every day, Grace. You are constantly joyful and we don’t deserve such a beautiful happy wonderful child, but God gave you to us. A true gift from above. I love you, G. Love, your very grateful Mommy

I’m starting to get it. God’s grace. I thought I got it before, but I now know they layers keep peeling off. I’ve been reading the Bible constantly lately - day and night. I’m seeing my sin and ego and pride so clearly. I always think I’ve seen it clearly and then God shows me one more layer. Last night, you were teething and woke up at 4am wanting to roll around and “talk”. I stayed up with you. I think God did that on purpose. It’s like fasting when you are stripped of the normal comfort of food. Same with sleep deprivation. It can amplify what’s really in our hearts. So, I started to have anxiety about a lot of ridiculous things. I prayed a lot as you played and as I tried to comfort you. Around 8, I woke daddy up and told him everything on my heart. He loved on me and encouraged me. He is such a good daddy and husband. He has truly taken on the awesome duty of being the leader of our family, loving us with all his might and caring for not only you and I but everyone. He loves on Great Grandma Bunny and Grama Celia and Grampa David and Uncle Stephen. He studies the scriptures day and night. (This morning he told me when you woke up at 4, he couldn’t sleep so he just studied the Bible for a couple hours. Your daddy does that a lot.) All this to say, I am so grateful. God changes people. Completely. Last evening, we drove around the beach where daddy and I had some of our first dates and talked about how very different our lives are now… how different we are as people. Night and day. God has made your daddy and I into new people and He keeps peeling back the layers. I feel like the weight of the world was lifted from me today, sweet pea. Honesty and love and humility are hard work and they require stepping into a LOT of fear but it is always WORTH IT. You are worth it. I want to be the kind of woman that glorifies God and not myself. I have a long way to go. But that is the deepest desire of my heart. All the roadblocks between me and that goal are humbling. I look at who I was just a few years ago… even just a few months ago… and I PRAISE GOD. He refines us. He breaks us down so He can use us for good. I’m so grateful. This family is forever changed because of God’s amazing grace. You remind us of that every day, Grace. You are constantly joyful and we don’t deserve such a beautiful happy wonderful child, but God gave you to us. A true gift from above. I love you, G. Love, your very grateful Mommy

  1. laracasey posted this
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