Gracie, it’s been a while since I wrote you from my heart. The last weeks have been hard. Tonight was hard, too, but your daddy reminded me that I already have all the answers inside of me. I just have to pray to God for Him to show me the way. The hardest part is getting myself to pray sometimes. I’m stubborn and I want life to be easy and lately I’ve been getting really mad when people don’t understand how hard it can be. I get angry. I get overwhelmed. I want to put a big brick maternity leave wall around me. But, God is teaching me that even if NO ONE understands…. He does. He’s cheering me on and comforting me and always there to listen and tell me where to plant my feet. Thankfully, you don’t when mommy is sad or angry because you have this way of turning things around. I can’t help but smile at you. You are a big ball of happy and curiosity. I love kissing your cheeks and making you giggle. I love watching you explore the world right in front of you. I love your sweet spirit. You are teaching me to be present. You are teaching me how very important being present is.
Grace, I want to give you ME. My full attention. You deserve that. So, I’ve made some decisions:
I’m only working part time from now on. I’d rather cut expenses than work more. Your dad and I are working hard on a plan for this. As of today, I’m no longer full time. I’m only taking four meetings a month. And I’m just hanging with you on Monday’s and Friday’s. I will not be perfect with this plan. Or anything in life for that matter. But I will love you always. That I can guarantee. Love, Mom