Babies cry things out and so do third trimester moms who are nearing the nine months mark.  Grace, the magazine came yesterday in the mail and it’s so gorgeous.  We’re all so excited about it!  You’re in it, by the way.  You’ll just have to wait and see when you’re older ; )  Holding the magazine in my hands made me feel elated and at the same time - surprisingly - very overwhelmed.  The fears about the unknown, your arrival, and letting go of work soon crept back in.  The moment your dad walked in the door last night, I just couldn’t hide my feelings.  I laid it all out.  All of it.  I’m welcoming the occasional unexpected tears now because they are making me deal with my fears and what’s on my heart.  I’m learning a deeper faith.   Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. - Hebrews 11:1  Your dad is wonderful and is helping me with that so much.  He listened.  In the midst of my prego meltdown last night, as I cried about not knowing what’s ahead and wanting to be everything for everyone and being afraid to not be fully present with work and 100% on point all. the. time., he made a bold true statement: “If we had nothing, we’d still have everything that really matters.”  Yes!  I’m so grateful for these final weeks and what they are teaching me, Grace.  God breaks us down to build us back up again - stronger and clearer.  More focused on what matters most.  There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear…  - 1 John 4:18   Every day now challenges me to let go more than the day before.  In ways I never expected to.  And there is a whole lot of joy that waits around the corner of fear.  I’m grateful for the tears, the fear and how these final days are bringing your dad and I closer than I ever thought possible.  And just now… these arrived in my office.  (Thank you, Ari.  I love you so much!)  You are having a ball stretching in my belly right this second, by the way.  My tummy looks like an alien.  I guess you love lilies, too.  Love, Mom