5 weeks.  5 weeks.  5 weeks.  Yep, trying to get that to sink in.   Although, the cry fest I had this morning at my desk may have been an indication that it is definitely starting to sink in.  Grace, I’ve been so busy this week.  I thought my first week of this maternity transition would be slower than normal weeks.  Not in the least.  For the most part, I’ve been at my desk all day as usual, working my tail off to get the work cleared off my plate so I can focus solely on you when you come.  I have become very good at setting boundaries in my life - after having none and letting myself get run all over for so long! - but these new boundaries I’m working hard to set are a whole different story.  People tell me to enjoy this time of “relaxation” before you come, but that’s not what I set this time for.  With all I have going on in my life and all the hats I wear and responsibilities I have, I knew it would take me a few weeks to put things in place to function without me.  It’s a much harder task than I expected.  The wonderful ladies I work with and your amazing amazing amazing Aunt Emily are helping me so much.  I’m so grateful, I can’t begin to describe it.   But… it’s just me.  You don’t realize how much you do on a daily basis until the reality hits you that your life is about to take a 180 turn very soon.  And you can’t stop it or change it or at all know what to expect.  All you can do is let go.  Surrender.  Trust 10000%.  So, this morning, I did my usual - woke up and prayed, got myself out the door to get some exercise around the lake, had a great talk with my mom for a long time while I walked, came back to shower, eat breakfast, read my Bible, pray some more and then sat down at my desk.  I work so hard to clear my mind in the morning before I even touch work.  I get my thoughts centered on what matters most so I can make the best decisions possible.  I love mornings.  On this gorgeous sunny morning, sun beaming through my windows, it all hit me.  Life is about to change.  Whether I’m prepared or not.  Whether all my ducks are in a row or not.  And at the same time, it’s going to be perfect.  Exactly what God has planned.  It’s already done.  It was like overwhelmed and grateful trusting tears all at once.  A rush of feeling like a cascading teal wave.  The tears just poured out.  I really haven’t cried all that much during pregnancy.  TV and movies show hormonal teary moms-to-be and I suppose I expected that’s what these months would be like.  Sure, there have been a handful of those moments, but nothing really extraordinary.  I’ve felt more calm and even-keeled and grateful than ever in my life.  That has been such a blessing.  But today, for a moment, I let go in a new way.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6  The doorbell rang.  Gracie, you will likely get to know the FedEx, UPS and USPS gentlemen very well, since they visit us with packages about 5 times a day.  We have come to expect the usual magazine samples, submission items and client branding materials, but every now and then we get a special surprise.  A box from your Grandma Celia.  Of what perfect timing God has!  This little outfit makes my heart sing and reminded me again to trust.  Fully and completely.  You are my sunshine and everything is exactly as it should be.  (Thank you for this perfect gift, Mom!)   My tears dried and my heart was lifted again.  You started to dance again in my belly as my smile got bigger and bigger.  Dancing is now full body movement that I can see on all sides - like my belly is alive with activity from all points!  It’s pretty crazy to watch you move around now.  And just remarkably exciting.  I can’t wait to meet you in 5 weeks!  I love you so much, Grace Austin.  Mom 

5 weeks.  5 weeks.  5 weeks.  Yep, trying to get that to sink in.   Although, the cry fest I had this morning at my desk may have been an indication that it is definitely starting to sink in.  Grace, I’ve been so busy this week.  I thought my first week of this maternity transition would be slower than normal weeks.  Not in the least.  For the most part, I’ve been at my desk all day as usual, working my tail off to get the work cleared off my plate so I can focus solely on you when you come.  I have become very good at setting boundaries in my life - after having none and letting myself get run all over for so long! - but these new boundaries I’m working hard to set are a whole different story.  People tell me to enjoy this time of “relaxation” before you come, but that’s not what I set this time for.  With all I have going on in my life and all the hats I wear and responsibilities I have, I knew it would take me a few weeks to put things in place to function without me.  It’s a much harder task than I expected.  The wonderful ladies I work with and your amazing amazing amazing Aunt Emily are helping me so much.  I’m so grateful, I can’t begin to describe it.   But… it’s just me.  You don’t realize how much you do on a daily basis until the reality hits you that your life is about to take a 180 turn very soon.  And you can’t stop it or change it or at all know what to expect.  All you can do is let go.  Surrender.  Trust 10000%.  So, this morning, I did my usual - woke up and prayed, got myself out the door to get some exercise around the lake, had a great talk with my mom for a long time while I walked, came back to shower, eat breakfast, read my Bible, pray some more and then sat down at my desk.  I work so hard to clear my mind in the morning before I even touch work.  I get my thoughts centered on what matters most so I can make the best decisions possible.  I love mornings.  On this gorgeous sunny morning, sun beaming through my windows, it all hit me.  Life is about to change.  Whether I’m prepared or not.  Whether all my ducks are in a row or not.  And at the same time, it’s going to be perfect.  Exactly what God has planned.  It’s already done.  It was like overwhelmed and grateful trusting tears all at once.  A rush of feeling like a cascading teal wave.  The tears just poured out.  I really haven’t cried all that much during pregnancy.  TV and movies show hormonal teary moms-to-be and I suppose I expected that’s what these months would be like.  Sure, there have been a handful of those moments, but nothing really extraordinary.  I’ve felt more calm and even-keeled and grateful than ever in my life.  That has been such a blessing.  But today, for a moment, I let go in a new way.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6  The doorbell rang.  Gracie, you will likely get to know the FedEx, UPS and USPS gentlemen very well, since they visit us with packages about 5 times a day.  We have come to expect the usual magazine samples, submission items and client branding materials, but every now and then we get a special surprise.  A box from your Grandma Celia.  Of what perfect timing God has!  This little outfit makes my heart sing and reminded me again to trust.  Fully and completely.  You are my sunshine and everything is exactly as it should be.  (Thank you for this perfect gift, Mom!)   My tears dried and my heart was lifted again.  You started to dance again in my belly as my smile got bigger and bigger.  Dancing is now full body movement that I can see on all sides - like my belly is alive with activity from all points!  It’s pretty crazy to watch you move around now.  And just remarkably exciting.  I can’t wait to meet you in 5 weeks!  I love you so much, Grace Austin.  Mom 

  1. laracasey posted this
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