Today I am reminded that I am a “self-made” publisher - aka I’ve done a lot of Googling and asked a ton of dumb questions.

I taught myself InDesign because a week before we went to press on our first test issue, my designer flaked. “Teaching myself” means I pushed a lot of random buttons until I figured out what they all did. Yes, I bought all the Adobe manuals too, but they are still in the shrink wrap. Along this crazy road, I’ve made a plethora of mistakes but I am grateful for my unconventional path. The only thing I would change is how hard I worked to get here and how much it affected my time with family. I’m happy to be changing that now. I didn’t need to get here this fast.

I occasionally will send out what I call an “inner-office tweet”. Yesterday’s at 8am took the cake. Let’s just say I was Googling something about PMS colors and found a “Top Ten Mistakes People Make Before Print” list. Amazing. There was one large large item on the list I had never done before, no one would notice but me, but it was big. Luckily, I took about 4 hours to correct said mistake and it was fine, but I couldn’t stop laughing at myself. Humbling.

My new friend Cale Glendening tweeted this today and it really resonated with how I’m feeling: Don’t get discouraged when trying something new. Remember, you had to learn the alphabet before you could read. Chase. Your. Dreams.

Is publishing a magazine my dream? No. But, connecting with people IS. The magazine brings me a lot of joy and satisfaction, but my mission in life is much more than binding can hold.

So, here I am at the printer waiting on new color proofs from corrections I made. I’ve been up since 5am and I have to do it again in 36 hours when I fly to Boston for Katharine’s wedding. (I’m also doing her flowers. Crazy, yes, but they are going to be beautiful!)

This post is a bit all over the place thanks to my early wake-up call and 2.5 hour sunrise drive. The drive itself … I wasn’t going to blog this, but it was pretty significant for me. I have so many life-changing memories at every point between Gulf Breeze and Panama City - blissful days at Watercolor, the very first MTH, major weddings I poured my heart into, childhood at the water parks and volumes of some of my happiest days. Driving into the blazing sunrise this morning, I was struck by how much life has changed. All for the better, but with change comes letting go and sadness. I cried. I felt silly crying alone in the car, but it was like the movie of my life unfolded with every mile marker. I’m grateful that God has opened my heart and pray every day to surrender my own plans to His. His are always, without fail, so much better. I pray I will always be in a state of perpetual “Googling” - curious, humbled, never finished or “arrived”, open to beginning again every single morning.

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning. - Louis L’Amour

Back to proofing…